SARGASSO SAILS

CHAPTER 13

ATTACK ON KONKERLAND



   Our flotilla consisted of twelve rafts of Bamboozlers, and thirty dugouts of Irogators. Sargasso brought up the rear. Also, perched wherever there was space, were fourteen Peliguins and McCormants, and twenty two O'Henries. All we needed was a partridge in a pear tree. Even that didn't seem really that far fetched, because the Jahstamoments insisted on participating, but had never been uprooted before. After a complicated procedure, we had successfully transplanted Rastjahzz and a few of his friends, into the cockpit of Sargasso. They had brought their deadly catapaults.
   Even Kayaya refused to be left behind. Nelligan and her sat together nursing their wounds and preparing fruit bombs for the Jahstamoments. Then Akviro crammed himself in with us and Sargasso looked partly like an ark and partly like a floating bayou.
   All the Islanders shared that grim determination to survive. To do so, they had to transform, or evolve, into aggressors...something that had been alien to their nature. For Akviro, the situation was different. He was the last of his kind...the dead end of his species. He had come to regard the Islanders as his family. He was also worried about the Golden Shell...it must be retrieved at all costs. That power and energy, once released, could spell the end of all the Summerlands.
    We prepared for a frontal attack. The lee side of Konkerland was covered in an oleander jungle. All of the islanders were sensitive to the toxic leaves of this bush. As we approached the shores of Konkerland, the Jahstamoments let loose a furious barrage from their catapaults. However, the Konkers were prepared for this and had bunkered down with an additional layer of armour over their shells.
   Next, the Bamboozlers opened up with their bamboo rockets. I had no idea that these were part of their arsenal. I didn't have a clue what they were made from, but they managed to dislodge a number of Konkers from their bunkers, and even more from their armoured shells. Oopslop was still raging from his throne, but was out of our range. We would have to go ashore to fight.
   Then the Irogators stormed the beaches with their deadly hardwood paddles and began smashing the shells of their opponents. This proved to be effective until they met up with the Crushtazians. They formed an impenetrable phalanx and began to push the Irogators back towards the mucus pits.
   Finally, Akviro swam ashore and leaping over the Crushtazians, he began to ascend the slope towards Oopslop. Ripping down the swastika, he tossed a coconut grenade at Oopslop. Once again I was amazed at the inventiveness of the Islanders. Whatever was in the coconut exploded. Through the smoke, Oopslop emerged unscathed, but without his shell. Ooplsop slobbered:
   -Fool! I'm not your run of the mill conch. I'm the Emperor Snail and I love to impale! Now you have nowhere to run, Aquanaut.
   Too late...Akviro realized he was trapped. He had nowhere to go but up. As he ascended the volcano, Oopslop's forces tightened their noose, driving him ever upwards. Kayaya was beside herself:
   -You must help him, she cried.
   But it would be suicide to go ashore now. I watched helplessly as Akviro was pursued ever higher. He was at the lip of the holding pond where the Golden Shell was imprisoned. He had two choices: he could either continue to climb and be burned to death, or he could plunge into the pond and be their prisoner. Too late...Akviro was surrounded by the Crushtazians. He dove into the pond.
   It was at this juncture that the feathered air force sprang into action. They began to dive bomb Konkerland with their bamboo and coconut bombs. They were not very accurate and friend and foe alike began to scramble for shelter. Then one errant bomb went into the volcano and the whole island began to shake.
   Ash and lava began spewing out of the cone, igniting a few of the O'Henries and creating panic amongst the combatants. Akviro remained submerged as the dyke of the holding pond began to crack.
   Lava was streaming down the sides of the volcano as the dyke gave way. The Crushtazians were swept away as the water came pouring down the slope. And then came a spectacle I will never forget: Akviro reappeared riding down the mountain on top of the Golden Shell. He steered right for Oopslop and cut him right in half before continuing his ride into the sea. The few remaining Konkers were stunned and demoralized and began to slink away in the direction of the Green Flash.
   Having released its fury, the volcano was quiet again. We surveyed Konkerland in disbelief...the fresh water had cleansed the island of its toxins and mucus. What was left of Oopslop, began to shrink and shrivel until there was nothing left of him. The battle was over!
   The skies over Konkerland began to clear and the sun shone once more on that forsaken island. Then magically, life began to sprout from the land. Tropical alpine flowers and mosses exploded from the earth until Konkerland was carpeted in colour. The Summerlands had been saved!

ON TO CHAPTER 14 "PROCESSION"
GET ME OUTTA HERE...I HATE HAPPY ENDINGS