MARIUNAS TRENCH

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          HE LIVES IN THE DEEPEST PART OF THE OCEAN-THE MARIUNIS TRENCH, SOMEWHERE IN THE PACIFIC OCEAN. HE WAS ONCE THE BIGGEST CREATURE ON EARTH- EVEN BIGGER THAN HIS FAMOUS BROTHER, MOBY DICK. HE WAS SO BIG IN FACT, THAT THAT THEY NAMED HIM 'BIG' BUT NO ONE DARED CALL HIM 'BIG DICK' TO HIS FACE. WHEN TRAVELLING FROM HIS OLD HOME IN THE INDIAN OCEAN, BIG HAD CAUSED A SERIES OF TSUNAMIS BY LEAPING OUT OF THE SEA AND THEN BELLY-FLOPPING. 'THERE HE BLOWS' BECAME THE TERRIBLE WATCHWORD FOR ALL THOSE WHO CROSSED HIS PATH.
          BUT BIG WAS NOT A MEAN WHALE. HE WAS SIMPLY JEALOUS OF THE PORPOISES THAT PERFORMED THEIR AQUATIC DANCE ROUTINES. HE WAS TOO BIG AND CUMBERSOME TO JOIN THEM. DICK WAS SIMPLY DISFUNCTIONAL.
          SO BIG WENT ON A DIET-GLUTEN FREE PLANKTON AND SUGAR FREE SEAWEED FOR A WHOLE YEAR, AFTER WHICH THE PORPOISES WERE STUNNED TO SEE THE RESULTS OF HIS DIET. HE WAS SO SLIM AND GRACEFUL THAT THEY RENAMED HIM 'LITTLE DICK'.
          AND NOWADAYS IF YOU ARE SAILING NEAR THE MARIUNAS TRENCH, AND YOU SPOT A WHALE FROLICKING WITH THE PORPOISES, THEN HE IS SURELY LITTLE DICK- JUST DON'T CALL HIM THAT TO HIS FACE. TOO FISHY FOR ME